Who would like some conversation before I go to sleep?

This morning:

Finish one and a half more weeks worth of Spanish,

got some done.

finish an American History essay,

Start on my English essay,

get my hand bandaged,

And send another  e-mail to the lady at the hope center.

I may do most of this tomorrow, I'm feeling ill and need sleep.

Midday:

Take a nice thorough soothing bath,

and put my uniform in the dryer for another spin to get the wrinkles out,

a quick nap,

then up by two to get my makeup done and uniform on.

OFF TO WORK.

3-10, and if I'm lucky, I'll get all my hours.

After I come home:

Try to get a little further on the English essay,

do a bit more Spanish,

check up on my emails and sites and such (though I'll likely be on all day),

and go to bed by two AM.

:/

Fun, right?

This blog isn't to inform you, really, but to help me.

However, if you want to comment, IM, or message me, go ahead.

But hey, I get paid tomorrow.

It won't be a hell of a lot.

Maybe my mom will be nice and say I can keep a tiny bit more for Christmas shopping?

And for those of you who don't know, my mother has me split my check in thirds.

One for my family, one for savings, one for me and my phone bill.

:/

I'm hungry.

Oh, most importantly on my to do list.

River Mason.

Most of you already know her, but if you don't, go meet AshLee and talk to her. She's gorgeous and amazing.

She always knows how to make me smile.

<3

Does anyone know any good time management/organizational skills?

I'm having trouble getting everything accomplished that I should.

So I fell asleep around seven this morning. I woke up around 8:45 and was on my tummy and couldn't move.

Why? I had this AWFUL pain in my side whenever I tried to get up or turn over. I started crying and it took me about twenty minutes to finally turn over and get back to sleep.

Another few sleep issues. I sometimes have these retarded insomnia bursts. I get sleep apnea and have sleep paralysis. I sometimes become scared to sleep due to these.

Also, I have a spine disease and it becomes very painful to lie still. A few nights ago, I had to force myself to go back on my sleep meds at least just for the night. I become very ill sometimes, and if I don't sleep, it gets worse.

Why is sleeping such a hassle? It's supposed to be the easiest and best thing to do, right?

:/

I'm fucking sorry, but sometimes you're boring, I don't like you, or I just don't wanna talk.

Sorry. I have better shit to do than write you a novel.

I hate the fact that I could go into so many career fields.

I can't decide.

I could go into medical, I could go into childcare, I could go into the arts, I could go into education, I could go into something technical, I could do clerical shit, I could do retail, I could do cosmetics.

Really.

I haven't got a clue.

:(

*Sadie's blog got me thinking of this.

If it is one minute late,

I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat.

I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat.

And then on some dark, cold night,

I will steal away into your home

and punch you in the face.

:)

I love my friends, my dear sweet friends. I'll mention you here, and remind me if I forgot you.

I'll make a vlog soon and this will be essentially a script for shout outs.

Lili- So cute! You're sweet and spunky, and I don't use that word, but It's the only one I could think of for my LILI:) You make me smile all the time.

Bla*cksly*nca- I love you, you fucking weirdo nigger jew. ;) I don't need no man when I worship you. xD

AshLee- You're sweet and inspiring. I adore you, really. So smart, so deep, so artistic.

Paula- My Mommy. I just thought of you and you make me smile.

Sabrina- My love. You're amazing. /the end.

Mae- My big sister, the sweetest, prettiest girl on the planet. You deserve to be treated well. And very happy, as well.

Jackie- You're a new friend, but I love talking to you, you're a lovely woman.

Tai- You're adorable and respectful and loving, and I adore that.

River- You make me smile. You're cuddly and loving, and I'm happy to know you.

Renee- Cute Renee. You're so smart and so harsh, and I LOVE YOU. You make me smile.

Ellie- I've just met you, but I adore you. You're a nice lady.

Dilson- I can't believe I met you randomly on myYearbook. I adore you, cutie!

Meakers- You're pretty and sweet. You make me smile real big, and I want you happier, babydoll.

Jordan- You've become an amazing friend. You make me smile as well, and you're really really precious. I love talking to you.

Kiana- You're such a sweet girl, I'm glad I've reconnected with you.

Zach- I don't know you that well, but you're a good guy. I love talking to you, you're a real sweetie who deserves better than you got from that girl :( Love ya.

Sadie- You're an interesting little thing. Really cute too, and I like that we have what we do in common.  I'm happy you're my friend.

Just remind me, I'm really tired.

I'll add more to this later.

In my English course we were told to read a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow called "A Psalm of Life."

It helped the way I felt, and all of you should read this, because it is really inspirational.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)

            A PSALM OF LIFE

      WHAT THE HEART OF THE YOUNG MAN
                    SAID TO THE PSALMIST

    TELL me not, in mournful numbers,
        Life is but an empty dream ! —
    For the soul is dead that slumbers,
        And things are not what they seem.

    Life is real !   Life is earnest!
        And the grave is not its goal ;
    Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
        Was not spoken of the soul.

    Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
        Is our destined end or way ;
    But to act, that each to-morrow
        Find us farther than to-day.

    Art is long, and Time is fleeting,
        And our hearts, though stout and brave,
    Still, like muffled drums, are beating
        Funeral marches to the grave.

    In the world's broad field of battle,
        In the bivouac of Life,
    Be not like dumb, driven cattle !
        Be a hero in the strife !

    Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant !
        Let the dead Past bury its dead !
    Act,— act in the living Present !
        Heart within, and God o'erhead !

    Lives of great men all remind us
        We can make our lives sublime,
    And, departing, leave behind us
        Footprints on the sands of time ;

    Footprints, that perhaps another,
        Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
    A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
        Seeing, shall take heart again.

    Let us, then, be up and doing,
        With a heart for any fate ;
    Still achieving, still pursuing,
        Learn to labor and to wait.

The above poem was first published in the Knickerbocker Magazine in October 1838. It also appeared in Longfellow's first published collection Voices in the Night. It can be found, for example, in:

• Longfellow, Henry Wadsworth. The Complete Poetical Works of Longfellow. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1893.

Credit to: http://www.potw.org/archive/potw232.html

DON'T POST YOUR PHONE NUMBER PUBLICLY ON A SOCIAL NETWORK.

PEDOS.

PEDOS, FUCK.

SFMAKDLFKSD

AND I'LL FEEL COMPELLED TO HARASS YOU.

FAGGOT.

I won't really be using this for anything but updates about my life, which may be mostly in list form.

1. Job-I still work at McDonald's, as I have since mid-July. I'm still minimum wage, and still mostly a shitty cashier. I wish I could have a better job.

2. Online school-I'm such a slacker, LOL.

3. Mother- She's had the spinal fusion, and more recently had the screws taken out. Let me tell you, I'm proud of my Mommy. She thought she'd never recover. I think she still feels incapable, useless even, sometimes. But she keeps going. My mother has always tried and tried. She's kept on, and I'm proud. She's an overprotective hypocritical bitch, but I adore her and respect her for her strength.

4.Stepfather-Cliff is the closest thing I've ever had to a "Daddy", and he's the one for my mom. It's obvious. He's a great guy, and has been taking care of my mom and brothers these past several months. I'm glad we have him.

5. Brothers- They're really growing up. Devin is getting smarter and smarter, and more and more like me. Vincent is my height already, and he's a baritone or even bass II in the making. Both my baby brothers are growing up, crazy. Tommy lives with his girlfriend of SEVERAL months. He's a telemarketer. Still a bit of a slacker, but doing well. Jarret's been with Sarah for a while. He's a car salesman, and he's good at it. He's doing online college.

6. Boyfriend- Dean is amazing. We only really tell close IRL friends and online friends, not families. Age difference isn't favored. But I'm in love. We have been together almost four weeks, almost a month. He's amazing, understanding, and just wonderful. I love him.