i was with spencer, my first boyfriend, for 5 months. i never realy loved him, i always liked him very much and hoped he would grow on me. he stoped doing things to make me happy and everything about our relationship became focused on him. (even in bed) so i meet this guy lofton, he truly and honestly cares for me. i think i could love him and i realy want to be with him. last weekend, while i was still with spencer, i got realy drunk and had some fun with him. i am ashamed to say that i cheeted on spencer. but on monday i broke it off with spence, i hurt him so much and i couldnt be with him after what i had done. my new bf is for lack of a better word, black, my dad is racist and i dont know what to do. my heart is with him and my hert break is with spencer. im woryed about my dad and im ultimatly lost. any opinnions feal free to share.... im a horrible person for wha i did im sure.. idk