so, when I was at the mental hospital..there was a psychiatrist that was completely rude and has added to my depression and need for suicide.

Literally.

okay so hes totally intimidating being 6'9" and freaky. He's a therapist psychiatrist thing so youre suppose to take in whatever they say. They said that my boyfriend and I would never last and practicly any relationship I had would always end and if we were meant to be together we would be together years later after we broke up. WHAT THE FUCK!? Since I attempted suicide he also told me that when I got home my friends should embrace me in a hug and tell me they're happy i'm home, then slap me across the face and tell me they hate me for attempting suicide then tell me they never want to talk to me again, and walk away with a look of disguist on their face. I'm not even fucking exaggerating. -.- He told me he would never want a friend like me who always drags down the moments of happiness and always needed advice and wouldn't ever help him. HOLD THE FUCK UP! He doesnt even fucking know me! He was saying that shit though! and yes, I do help my friends out. Even people I dont get along with or do not know. God I hate this man. He told the staff that my friends were fake. He even asked if my friends I know in person were real. WTF!? Ugh, so retarded. He just made everything I say stupid. I fucking hate it. Now whenever I think about anything I think of him and I want to kill myself more!

>.

Thats not even everything..

Well, at the mental hospital it was weird. I was in room 424b. I love the number four. Pretty exciting. Anywhoo, I couldnt sleep with the ALL the lights off until I got a roommate because when you did, you could here wheezy breathing. Scary as fuck. >.< The vandilism there was funny. Fuck on the plexiglass window. Help Me on the heater. This Light Is Annoying carved into the plastic beside the bathroom light, and You Can All Go To Hell on the fake mirror in the bathroom. Amazing, eh? I was on checks the first few nights, meaning I couldn't have string, etc. You know, 'cause I would go hang myself. XD There were four kids, including me. Mariah, Adley, Levi and I. Mariah is 16 and gorgeous, she was my roommate whom also attempted suicide with an overdose. Adley is 14 and there for suicidal thought and a ton of family problems. Levi is 17 and there for anger problems. I can only keep in touch with Mariah. She was in 424a, of course. The other half of my room. (: Anyway, the freaky room we were in was haunted. There was a light in a vent so the room wouldnt have to be completely dark and we both kept seeing random things in is like..you know...eyes and such. FREAKY! The bathroom light was flickery when you would first turn it on, understandable. But it didn't turn on for like...ten minutes at three in the morning and it started flickering after. All of the lights in our room went out, there was a cackle, then they all turned back on. Fucked up. Totally blanking out on the other things but yeah. Whatever. Bleh. I'm bored. Comments?

GAH!

Just got home and I really dont know what to do. If I lived with my dad he would be scolding me for attempting suicide. My mother is pampering me. I just want to be left alone. My friend Hoga is passed out on my bed right now. I just want to leave. I want to go back to Keene and steal Mariah from the mental hospital! Yes, I was in a mental hospital. Cry about it. I dont care about whatever shit anyones going to say about me now. Its whatever. (: ANYWAY! I dont know what to do. Please...advice? I dunno. I'll probably end up writing about my experiences there and the emotionally abusive therapist man and the haunted room. Shit was freaky as hell. Anyway....

Add or whatever?

Love, Emily.

I guess you can say this is my suicide note..

my friend Sean has been dead for about two weeks.

I hate my life.

Matt's gone too.

I cant do this anymore...

im gonna overdose

I guess this is goodbye......

not that I was any good on here anyway.........