Psh. He is amazing.

No, rly. Jordann can make even the worst of my days so fucking better. He came home from school just to see me, and then had to go meet his girlfriend. We spent around two hours on the phone while my face was swollen and numb, which has gone down now. Whenever we're not speaking, he always texts me. He is the only person that can make me smile when I feel like utter shit, mainly because he spams me with funny Youtube videos or kisses, but still. He's such a sweetheart, honestly. I'm lucky to have known him for a year and a half. This Christmas will be amazing. Just us two, together. Finally. Nothing seems as right, tbh. <3

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASHLEIGH. <3

Also, I am moving to Utah.

Also also, I love AshLee and Kayluh and Tiffy.

Okay, I'm done.

 

What a mess.

Honestly now. What a fucking horrible day. First of all, I couldn't sleep at all last night and was awake until 3:30am, bearing in mind I get up at 5:30am for school, and found it even more difficult to sleep afterwards because I, and someone that truly means so fucking much to me, had a huge argument and he seemingly hates every inch of me. I am a very naive person. I found out alot about myself last night, most of which was horrible to discover. I wake up two hours late. Oh great. I have a shower, trip over the curtain and smack my head on the edge of the bath, almost knocking myself out, get ready, burn myself with straightners, spill milk all over my blazer and end up throwing my cereal out because it went soggy in the bowl while I was busy getting ready. What next, you ask? The dentist. For injections, drilling, stabbing, choking and fillings, with the dentist being an absolute bitch to me, telling me to keep still as she stabs a needle in my gum with pure force. It's over, after half an hour of pain. I'm not allowed to eat for two hours, and I'm starving. My mum is keeping me off school because I'm in agony, and the numb side of my mouth makes me look like someone who's had a stroke and their face leans downwards and it's swollen. I can hardly shut my mouth without screaming out in pain. Mum said I have to help her do housework if I want to stay home. My room is immaculate. The whole upstairs is. But we have three floors. Eurgh. Better get working. Please let tonight be okay, maybe even nice?

Lesson of the day - Karma is an absolute cunt.

Ohmy!

Psh. Today I planned my Christmas party. Though I doubt I'll have enough money because train tickets are rather expensive. Still, I'd rather see Jordann on Christmas. ;D I'm so excited. ^^ But yeah, positive attitude week is going well. Although I have the dentist tomorrow morning, and need an injection and filling. D< Still, I may not have to go to school so it's all good. Last night was one of the best in a while, mainly thanks to Jordann. I don't really have anything else to say. -.-

Harry Cleland's smile - <3

This is all.

OH AND ZACH IS ADORABLE. <333

 

"Everytime I see your smile, it makes my heart beat fast, and though it's much to soon to tell I'm hoping this will last.'

Why is today so horrible?

so liek.

I stopped my ex-boyfriend from attempting suicide again, for the last time. I got my predicted grades. B and above in everything. A* in Art and Maths. My family is really happy. I watched Zombieland, which was good. Spoke to Jordann for the first time in days. Ryan is finally speaking to me.  

Yet I'm still very unhappy.

What the fuck is wrong with me? D<

Eurgh. If I knew, I wouldn't be in this mess. It's stupid. I should be happy. I'm trying to be. I don't have the faintest idea why I'm not though. This is mind-boggling. D<

PSH. Positive attitude from now on, thnx. :D

 

Oh dear.

I had such a strange weekend, tbh. Friday night was pretty good, went to a gig-type thing with my mates, had a laugh and pissed about in the mosh pit, left at half eleven to the bush where we stashed our vodka. Walked home with the girls and we started drinking. Stupid idea, seeing as I tell the truth to everyone while drunk, and it pisses them off. At around 1am on Saturday morning, we decided to go the the park, pissed out of our faces. We were only there around ten minutes and two cars came along, driving on the grass next to the park. Ashley, the only sober one of us all suggested we leave, so we walked off. The two cars started beeping and following us, so we ran as fast as we could the private housing estate I live on. It may not sound bad, but instinct told me I was going to get hurt. We ran around the back of a house and sat on the gravel silently as we saw the headlights for the cars driving up and down the straight road. We waited around 40 minutes, hoping they would give up and look for someone else. It was quiet and we thought they were gone, but as we went to get up, the car swerved across the gravel and cornered us. We slipped past and ran as fast as we could, while the other car waited on the road. It chased us as the driver saw us running so we ran into the back car park and hid under some cars for half an hour. We decided we would try and run straight to my house, so waited behind a wall. The car pulled in and the driver looked me straight in the eyes. Honestly, I thought that was it. I had never been so scared in my entire life. The other car waited and shouted to us. We just ran. Estelle tripped and burst into tears, screaming. I pulled her up and her shoes came off. We just ran, smashed our way through my gate and through the back door and locked it. Estelle was still sobbing and gasping for breath. It was the worst I'd ever seen her. We all went to my bedroom, put on a movie and tried to relax, eventually falling asleep.

The next moring we got ready and went into town. The rain had flooded the underpass to town so we had to run across a really busy road, me almost being hit. -.- Tbh, it was a shit day, terrible weather, everyone thinking about that morning in the park. The only thing that improved my day was the snow machine in town on the main street. We were all so happy. :3 It made me think of Jordann, and our plans this Christmas. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. :/  

 

Omnomnom.

I got picked for chat mod. Yay. :3

But, fucking wankjuice on a stick. D:<

I have priorities I need to sork out. For example, Jordann. I just don't know anymore.

IT'S NOT EVEN ME. Whaaaat?

Honestly, I don't have a clue what I'm talking about.

I love him, pl0x. Quite a fucking lot.

Blah. I cannot be bothered to even type this anymore.

I fucking want my bed. ): <3

I am strangely attracted to..

People with a first name beginning with J.

I don't know what it is? D:

On a terrible note, I told Jordann I wouldn't be answering his calls on Sunday night, and last night he was being so awkward and didn't call me. Normally this would sound stupid, but he calls me every night without fail. I was like. ;-; I have fought so much for him and now I feel as though he doesn't even care anymore. He seems so different now. I don't know if I can be bothered with this anymore. We'll see. u.u

 

Sexisexi.

Why am I so hyperactive? Whyyy? ;-;

Dayum, I fell asleep at like 9:30pm last night, and my phone battery died so Jordann may have called me last night but I don't know because his stupid girlfriend made him delete me on any social networking sites he and I were friends on. So now he just rings me up all the time. It sucks. But yeah, he's so adorable. It's cliche but, idgaf.

Jordann - blue. Ellie - purple.

-

Okay. I'm going to bed now. I'm falling asleep.

Okay then. Goodnight.

- Time passes. -

GAH. I can't do it.

Huh?

Hang up. I can't. You have to.

Just hang up silly.

No, don't make me. Just hang up.

Why? You.

Because I like the sound of your voice. So I'm not hanging up.

Awh. But still. Hang up.

Fine.

- We say our goodbyes and he calls back five minutes later.-

I felt bad for hanging up so you have to now.

LOL. Fine. -.-

-

This is what I spend my evenings doing. What a sad, sad life I lead. ._.

 

 

 

 

What on Earth?

I just broke into a house.

The house that I broke into was my own. >.<

I stayed at a friends last night and I walked home to find the front and back doors locked, so I went into the garden and climbed through the kitchen window because I know how to open it from outside. The house was empty, and now I'm really bored because nobody else is home. ._.

On a brighter note!

Jordann will be calling me tonight, if he doesn't go to his girlfriend's mother's party. He said he would stay home just to speak to me. :3

Anyho.

1) i know im a dumbass dont state the obvious (dont comment on my spelling eaither i know it fails) 2) i if you read the description of the poll it says the rep got it? dont be a fucking smart ass with me and learn to read   LOLOLOL.
STFU and don't backchat me.
I am a smartass, and shall flaunt it to who I wish.
AND HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO READ THAT ATROCIOUSLY SPELT AND PARAGRAPHED PILE OF SHIT?
Really now.   idgaf who the hell you are dont fucking mess with me!
btw your appearntly not a smart ass your obviously a self centered dumbass who thinks shes all that i hate pepole like you so just go fuck yourself and if you reply to this youll be the first ever person ive ever blocked now wont that be cool?

 

 

Lolololol. "Now that wont be cool! D:<"

Anywhore. 4am = Bedbedbedbedbed. <3

Basically.

I'm a happy chappy. Although Jordann rung me today and I was in town and it was really noisy and skdkfhslf. And then Carys and I went to Debenhams to hear him better, and we were having a natter and all of a sudden..

Boooom. Battery dies.

Really now? -.-

Then his stupid bitch of a girlfriend had to go stay round his house so he couldn't ring me tonight, which sucks.

All because she's insecure that he and I are very close. And I happen to be in dire love with him.

JESUS, SOME PEOPLE. ._.

But yeah, dispite lack of bed, I am in a great mood.

PS. I'm glad you're back in my life, plz.

MY WHOLE FUCKING BLOG JUST DELETED. D<

HAVE A LLAMA.

 

FML!

I'll retype it later. -.-

 

FML.

That's right, fuck it hard.

Jordann and I seem to be no more, I suppose. He told me "I'm sorry but I can't do this. I'll be in touch soon, but this is it. For now." For now? Are you serious?! Ugh. I feel so.. skdfkshfg. I cry myself to sleep, like the litte emo kid that I seem to be becoming, and wake up with 35 missed calls from him. Really now? He is really confusing me, and to be honest, I can't take this anymore. I don't want to. Why should I have to be fucked around because it isn't perfect timing for him? Fine. I can cope without him.

But that's exactly it. I can't. I'm scared to pick up the phone when he calls, because when he hangs up, I fear it's the last time we'll speak. And when he does hang up, I start having panic attacks and crying till my eyes sting and I can barely see. How did this happen? And why? I've had my fair share of assholes. Sure, we'd been on and off for almost two years, but this time around I thought 'This is it.' We'd planned our Christmas together. Just us two. We could finally be with eachother. I guess now, that's over. I know we weren't together, but honestly, he is my soulmate. His girlfriend seems to think otherwise and has deleted me from his Facebook after finding the messages telling me that even when he's with her, the only reason he is happy is because he imagines it's me. That's stupid. It could be me. Hm. I'll just have to wait and see. -.-

Christmas '09, bby!

Pshh. This Christmas.. is going to be perfect, perfect, perfect.

Checklist?

- New camera. Omnom. Other presents and whatnot, but to be honest, material goods are the least important.

- Spending the holidays with the people I absolutely adore.

- Secret santa with my best friends.

Most importantly.. Jordann. This will be the time when, honestly, all my dreams will finally come true. It'll be our second Christmas, but the first I can spend in his arms, hold him tight when it gets cold, mess around in the snow (plzplzplz snow.), kiss him under the mistletoe, see the look in his beautiful blue eyes, hold his hands, take him ice-skating, do all the corny stuff couples do at Christmas.

Best Christmas ever? I think so!

 

What does everybody else wish for? :3