NOTE: This is also posted in the "my confessions" thing with my username in it so don't ask were I copy/pasted from okay? No this is not one of those things that cracks on meat eaters and praises vegan/vegetarians. What annoys me is how people say that vegs are ruining the planet by eating all the vegetation and how meat eaters are helping by eating the cows that are releasing all the gas into the atmosphere and ruining it. WRONG! We wouldn't have a problem with cows IF people didn't eat as much beef as they do. Cows are FORCED to get preg on factory farmers and pumped with tons of drugs and other things just to grow and have more calves. When a cow can't have any more babies then to the factory farms it's useless and beaten to death then shipped off to a slaughter house for...oh look at that...your food. All those babies are put through the same thing.
Vegs eat alot of veggies yes, BUT, we can replant them as they are harvested(as long as it's the right season). Sure they take some of the vegetation away FOR NOW, but it is replaced and the damage is fixed. Veggies are a lot easier to take care of than cows too. I mean nature does alot of it for you, the 'food' comes from the ground, nature provides water(unless it's a drought or such thing), and you just harvest it when it's ready to be eaten. You can even use the 'waste'(such as skins, cores, and seeds) to fertilize the ground!
Now after all this I just KNOW someone is going to say "I bet your a veg and that's why you're doing this" or "we were meant to eat meat!". Allow me to say this, I am a pesca-polo-tarian. meaning simply this, the only meat I eat is sea-food and chicken. I will only eat these meats if they do not come from factory farms though because I don't like the abuse the animals suffer on those farms. To answer the "meant to eat meat" thing, believe what you want. I personally believe we were to an EXTENT, such as maybe a few times a years, once a month at the absolute MOST. The meat that you eat sits in your stomach for weeks just decaying and rotting in your stomach. Would you want to eat rotting food? That's basically what your doing. If you eat meat daily then that rotting meat builds up in your stomach and can cause all kinds of bad things to happen, from as minor as a stomach ache to as major as stomach cancer.
The purpose of this is not to try to get most people to stop eating meat, that is your choice, it is just to inform people so that they stop saying "The vegetarians are destroying the planet! meat-eaters are helping it!" If you need to tell yourself that and ignore all of this then do so if you wish, it is really non of my business what you tell yourself or what you eat, I'll stick to my diet, you stick to yours. | looking in the mirror I see The girl that's there she isn't me with long sharp nails and fangs to bite she winks her eyes so filled with spite Smiles then sighs fills my head with lies she sings her song and knows she's wrong It is impossible for her to love and fly on wings of a dove Yet she somehow manages fixes her heart with bandages She forces that smiles and continues all the while She is just so confused and feels sometimes used A ring on her left hand in her heart is his command She can't help but obey She doesn't see another way She can only run so far You can still see the scar The girl who once loved Away she was shoved At night she always cried Until one day there she died. | So I have a talent show on Jan 10th and I'm reading 2 poems and the guy who I practice with told me to find music for in the backround. I told him I would and he said it would help keep the audiance's attention and help with the mood and stuff. So here I am now 9 days from the show and......I can't find any songs that sound right with the 2 poems!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! So now I get to sound stupid and ask that if anyone is bored and really good with music if they can help me out and comment this blog with a song or 2 that might fit. Both poems are slow-ish when being read. They are also posted below. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE HELP!!! amor gravatus I love you so,
You are my breath,
You are my soul,
My life, I live just for you,
Can't you see,
You are my everything?
When you didn't show,
I was sad yes,
But I wasn't mad,
I wasn't ever hurt,
When you broke promises,
I didn't cry,
I wasn't hurt,
I wasn't upset.
When you played games,
You said you liked me,
You asked me out,
Then you ignored me for days.
Well honey this is just for you,
I need to tell you the honest truth,
That night you asked,
I couldn't answer,
I told you I couldn't breathe,
I told you I would pass out,
You thought I was happy,
But I was just laughing too hard.
You tried to break me down,
You played your games,
You had your fun,
You thought you could break me,
You thought you could hurt me,
But I moved on and I am strong,
I don't need you as I thought I did.
You're still my breath,
You're still my love,
You're still my soul,
Still I live just for you.
But now things changed,
And I have seen the world,
Through the blood tinted,
Glasses of pain,
I don't need to breath,
I torn my heart,
Boxed it up,
Puked it out,
I've already died,
Completely inside,
I have no soul,
I lack control.
I made you jealous,
You admitted,
You did have feelings,
Don't you see honey,
I'm just a teenage girl,
Who once loved,
Who once lived,
Who once had control,
Who once had a heart,
Who once could smile,
Once could laugh,
Now I see that it was fake,
And just how fun life can be,
Once you play around,
With jealousy. She loved him She loved him,
Like never before,
Though her lay shattered,
On the kitchen floor.
She loved him,
With all she had,
Though towards her,
He was always mad.
She loved him,
All the more,
Even though,
Her heart was sore.
She loved him,
Through it all,
Though with him,
Her life did fall.
She loved him,
Wth everything,
With him near,
Her heart would sing.
She loved him,
Like no other could,
Never letting go,
Though knowing she should.
She loved him,
And she could only mourn,
For the love of her life,
Her heart was torn.
She loved him,
more and more,
Though she lay dead,
On the bedroom floor.
She loved him,
Then and forever,
Though his answer was always,
"When hell freezes over". or instead of "She loved him" I might do "Beautiful, Simply Beautiful"((see below)) which ever I find music for. Beautiful, Simply Beautiful. I could watch him for hours, As he sketches unaware, He asks me what I think, “Beautiful” I whisper unknowingly, Mesmerized with the crystal ponds, That are his hazel eyes. I watch his hands, As they guide the pencil, Carefully deliberately over the page, Seemingly soothing the unknown pains, The paper bears with it, Those very same hands, He holds me so lovingly with, And I envy that pencil and paper. “What do you think?” My friends ask, About their sketches, “Awesome” I reply not looking, Satisfied they walk away. His hands stop, And I wonder why, I look up and there I see, Misty eyes looking at me, We hold up our sketches, Mine I think blank, His… Of me watching him. “Beautiful” we both say, Looking at my paper, I see him looking back at me. I drew him, Drawing me, “Beautiful, Simply beautiful.” We say again | | 5 years,
I still cry,
5 years,
I still hurt,
5 years,
I still hope,
5 years,
I still wait,
5 years,
I still dream.
I still wait for you,
to walk through the door,
I still hope for this,
to all be a bad dream,
I still cry for you,
and life you lost,
I still want to believe,
that the body we put in the ground,
belongs to someone else.
5 years,
the noose still sways,
5 years,
the blood still drips,
5 years,
the screams still heard,
5 years,
the pain is still real,
5 years,
I still question.
The noose still sway,
Right were you left it,
The blood still drips,
As the rain and tears keep it wet,
The screams still heard,
In memories not to be buried,
The pain is still all to real,
For the price of your peace,
And I still question,
Why oh why oh why,
did you have to end your life?
5 years,
and I'm still not over you,
5 years,
and I still need to know why,
5 years,
and I still think it pointless,
5 years,
and councilors don't help,
5 years,
what's the use?
No I'm not yet over,
The loss and pain of your death,
Yes I still beg to know,
Why had you felt that the only way?
Hell yeah I believe,
I believe it was the dumbest thing ever,
I'm still not over it...
I need help?
See a councilor?
HA!
They don't help me at all,
Been there,
done that,
come again!
I still don't see it,
I still ask why,
I still want to ask,
I still cry out to you,
I still cry to myself,
I still feel the pain,
I still know the loss,
I still want to die,
I still don't see the use,
In living with nothing to live for. | Gays...this one is a HUGE thing in politics it seems. Love is love who are you to say who it's "right" to love and who it's "wrong" to love? You can not choose who you love. You just love someone that's why it's called FALLING in love. You do it without having a say in it. So what if a guy loves a guy you aren't god or any higher being so BUTT OUT OF IT! So what if a girl loves a girl you are not in charge of their lives so once again BUTT OUT OF IT! WHO CARES if someone loves both girls and guys I don't seem you running around with a quivers of arrows strapped on your back and a bow in your hand so STAY OUT OF IT!! You can't choose who you love and it's not up to you to say what is "right or wrong" when it comes to love. Also just because you don't agree with who someone loves doesn't mean you have the right to say if they can get married or not! For crying out loud in AMERICA land of the FREE and home of the BRAVE you're taking away our GOD GIVEN FREEDOM TO LOVE WHOEVER THE HELL WE WANT TO LOVE!! Correct me if I'm wrong but that sure as hell doesn't sound very good to me now does it? I personally am straight such as not the popular belief. I just hate how gays and all the rest are treated. Most of my best friends are gay, bi, trans or the like. I love them to death just as I do my straight friends. I've DATED bi gays and I like being with them more. Then I don't hear all the nasty things about gays and the rest. I'm sorry but it's just not right. I don't see why people fear change like they do. Adults are always telling me and all my peers to be more open minded and accepting and all that jazz...until it comes to gays. Then all I hear is "That's so wrong...It goes against all god's laws...that's unnatural...that's so nasty!" I think those people need to STFU and get a life of their own. I'm sorry if any of this offened anyone but it's my view on this issue and I won't change it for anything. People like me get shot everyday and if that's what I have to look forward to for saying my piece then I'll go stand out in the middle of the road and wait while I scream this opinion to the clouds and hope that it reaches someone who will take it to heart. labels....people are people no other way around it. So what some people dress in a different style or wear a different color more often. They are just a person like you and me and every other person on this earth. Who are you to tell them who or what they are? You're nobody when it comes to that just like me and any other stranger on the street! PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE END OF STORY!! Why does it matter how someone acts or dresses? It's their choice to make, not yours. Are people so unstable and so insecure that we must label people and sort them into groups based on appearance? That makes no sense to me. I'm always asked "Are you emo, goth, skater, punk, prep or what?" I always answer the same "I am me and not a label." I'm always looked at like I'm crazy. Or how about because I like being me and not some label I change how I dress and play a new part every week. One week I'm "emo", the next "goth" the next "prep" the next "skater" the next "punk" and so on. Then I'm labeled a "poser". People will see me and say "There's the biggest poser in this school!" I'll turn around, look them straight in the eye and say "I'm a poser you say?" really softly. They'll smirk and say "Yeah I called you a poser!" I'll smile back, take a step away, they start laughing thinking I'm going to run away and cry like everyone else, then I scream as loud as I can "Hell yeah I'm a poser and dang proud of it! I'm posing as me! God knows you're jealous!" then say softer "didn't expect that now did ya?" and walk away as if nothing happened. Anyone else ever get tired of having labels? Anyone else have something they do like what I do? I just get sick of all the labels in this world. I mean labeling people is just another way to segrate our society. Anyone agree? Racism...it's not just the whites who do it. All the other races do too but it seems whites are the only ones to be punished for it. Why is that? It seems because we're the 'dominate race' that we're the only ones who can be racist. Not true...a white pride club at schools can be shut down and all the students arrested...the African-American, latino, mexican, italian, greek, etc clubs are left alone. Not right. A white can be killed by a person of another race and it's just a murder. A white kills someone of another race, it's a hate crime and a murder. What gives? Who says this has to be a part of our lives? Who says that we have to sit back and deal with this? It is MY generation, the 90's children, the FUTURE RULERS OF THE WORLD who can change this!! We don't have to sit back and LET racism rule our lives!! We can stand up for what we believe in and when they want to tell the white kids it's racism...get one of your friends of a different race to do the same thing, see if they say anything then. Get it on video tape too and show them just what happened and ask them "Why is it racist when I, a white person, do this but not them, a (insert other person's race here), do it?" see if they can answer THAT! I BET you they'll say something about whites being the majority. RACISM IS STILL RACISM NO MATTER WHO'S BEING RACIST!!!!!
I don’t know why but sometimes life just seems like its moving too fast. One day your happy and then the next your life is just spinning out of control and you have no idea what’s going to happen next. It’s like you’re going to be left behind if you blink. Maybe that’s why so many teens are messed up now. Because life is just leaving us behind. Alright so we’re all ’free and equal’ right? So why is there racism and sexism and all that crap? Why are Bisexuals and gays treated differently then straights? Why are men and women treated differently? Why can’t women get the great jobs without working their asses off or doing their employers ’favors’? It makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the ineqality of it all. I mean we live in America were everyone is ’free and equal’ but all we see is inequality. All the adults want to say is ’Well some kids just aren’t accepting.’ If that’s true then I think most people in my generation are the adults and most people in my parents and grand parents and great-grandparents generations are the kids or the children. Us ’kids’ seem more willing to accept and more open to change and differences then the older generations, yet we’re the immature ones according to them. They refuse to let their children hang out with someone or stay the night at someone’s house if they are bi or gay. Yeah sure we’re the unaccepting and immature ones. (insert you choice of fed up and impatiant expressions here) Also love? Yeah it hurts like crazy, so why do we still try to find it? Why do we still want it so bad? Why do we go to such lengths to find something that will always hurt no matter what? Maybe we fool ourselves into thinking that everything will be alright, that we won’t be hurt....’because we like the view’. Or maybe we want to be held, want to feel secure....to be ’safe in the arms of love.’ We can try all we want to fool ourselves but love will always hurt but one day we’ll all ’wake up and smell the break up.’ one day they’ll ’look down at your hand and see an I Heart ? written on the back of your hand.’ until that day we will hurt and we will search for that little thing called love. I think this world is just ready to explode. It needs to, there’s so much hate and pain and suffering in this world that it’s a wonder things like love, acceptance and safe still exist. Maybe us ’kids’ should start a peace movement. I know peace is just a dream but it seems to me like it’s slowly fading fast. I don’t know about you but my wish for April 2008 is that people won’t fight or argue when it’s not nesacary. All through April I’m going to wear a white peace ribbon or bracelet to remind myself not to fight and to just be peaceful, to try to bring a little more harmony and peace to my life. If you’re in this with me awesome! *SIDE NOTE* everything on here was copy and pasted from my myyearbook account to my myspace blog and then to here. So you may have seen it before but check them all if you want. The same thing is said in each all accounts have the same info too. | | I knew I would be jealous of any girl he went went with weither he loved them or not, I knew I would be jealous of any girl he ever flirted with or any girl he smiled at and most of all I’m terribly jealous of the girl he loves but nothing I can say or do can change that and I want nothing more in life then for him to be happy no matter what the cost.god if I could only tell him that he means more to me the life and the world itself. I would do anything for him and I would do anything he said. If I had to kill myself for him to be happy then gladly I would go and kill myself that same day. no that same hour. yeah I’ve heard it before..that’s "sweet of me" but sweet and cute aren’t enough to make someone love you....that I’ve learned the hard way I know how u feel someone u love someone else and u cant do anything but sit back and watch and cry over it and maybe when there single than u can try or maybe you’ll never have a chance because the person you love is still madly in love with someone else. They won’t admit it but it’s painfully obvious.Sometimes I doubt anyone will ever know what it’s like to love someone for this long and have to keep it a secret because that person is your friend’s ex and is in love with someone else. Or what it feels like to cry for 35 hours straight just to try and wash away the memories of the one you love and all traces of that love then when you can finally stop crying, have them tell them that they like you. Then feel ignored by them for days afterwards.It’s a very horrible feeling and makes you want to go and die. But because you love that person adn you know that they won’t be happy at all if you did then you don’t. That person, the one you love is the only one keeping you alive at that point. When at the same moment they are the one hurting you the most. It doesn’t matter how much you can try to forget you love someone or how much you swear you won’t hurt or cry over them. You will always love them, you will cry and you will hurt sooner or later and there’s no way around that. For love is painfull and love is vicous and only the strongest or heart, soul and will can not be hurt too bad that there is no hope of repairing the damage. which is why I’ve broken so many promises in the past...always saying "I promise I won’t hurt" or "I swear I won’t cry." | | shiver shiver,
in the cold,
shiver shiver,
growing old.
it's so cold,
my feet are numb,
it's so cold,
my I've gone dumb!
I'm so cold,
from my head ,
down to my toes,
My shoes of lead.
When I'm cold,
I make no sense,
My rhymes are old,
No where near intense.
I shiver still,
For no reason I see,
Jake and Jill,
Are dumber than me!
They shiver more,
And climb the hill,
No idea what's in store,
With a pail to fill.
[on a side note] yeah I'm just freezing cold and needed a new poem for class...this is what I came up with. I thought it was kinda funny and pretty good. btw it's already after 2am and I haven't slept in 48 hours. I think I did pretty good for that!! | | I wrote this poem for someone very dear to me. She had to read a poem from her favorite poet out loud in her class today(4-4-08). She asked me last night if I could send her one of my best poems and I told her I would write a new one for her. Then today after it was all over she had told me why she had asked. I felt so honored that she choose me and it really meant a lot. So I thought I would share the poem with all of you! She picked out the title for it.
This was just a topic that we could both relate to and that reached both of our hearts!! It is NOT me saying any of this too her or saying I love her as a girlfriend! She is the sister that fate forgot to give me! I Love You Jess!!!
"I'll look to like,
If looking liking move."
That's what Juliet once said,
She has her Romeo,
And I ask you,
Where is mine?
It seems to me that
Every "man" I find,
Turns out to be,
Just another little boy
In a very bad disguise.
When will they learn,
That I need a man,
Who'll stand beside me,
Not a boy,
Who'll run and hide.
My Romeo will be that man,
He'll never let me down,
Never once let me fall,
He'll hold me tight,
All through the night,
Expecting nothing in return.
My Romeo will know,
That I love you,
Means just that,
And nothing more.
My Romeo is out there,
This I know for sure,
I can spend all day looking,
Trying to find someone to love,
But until my Romeo comes along,
In the words of the proud Juliet,
"I'll look to like,
If looking liking move." | | I love you so,
You are my breath,
You are my soul,
My life, I live just for you,
Can't you see,
You are my everything?
When you didn't show,
I was sad yes,
But I wasn't mad,
I wasn't ever hurt,
When you broke promises,
I didn't cry,
I wasn't hurt,
I wasn't upset.
When you played games,
You said you liked me,
You asked me out,
Then you ignored me for days.
Well honey this is just for you,
I need to tell you the honest truth,
That night you asked,
I couldn't answer,
I told you I couldn't breathe,
I told you I would pass out,
You thought I was happy,
But I was just laughing too hard.
You tried to break me down,
You played your games,
You had your fun,
You thought you could break me,
You thought you could hurt me,
But I moved on and I am strong,
I don't need you as I thought I did.
You're still my breath,
You're still my love,
You're still my soul,
Still I live just for you.
But now things changed,
And I have seen the world,
Through the blood tinted,
Glasses of pain,
I don't need to breath,
I torn my heart,
Boxed it up,
Puked it out,
I've already died,
Completely inside,
I have no soul,
I lack control.
I made you jealous,
You admitted,
You did have feelings,
Don't you see honey,
I'm just a teenage girl,
Who once loved,
Who once lived,
Who once had control,
Who once had a heart,
Who once could smile,
Once could laugh,
Now I see that it was fake,
And just how fun life can be,
Once you play around,
With jealousy. | | I'm over you,
I want you to know,
I'm not hurt,
Not terrible so.
You're not the man,
I once thought you were,
You lack the strength
To tell me the truth.
It was crush,
Not real love,
If I can give up,
As easy as this.
It will take time,
I know I'll cry,
But sooner or later,
I'll be fine.
My heart will heal,
I'll hide the real me,
As I always have,
You'd like her you know.
I know I'll cry,
Bitter tears for you,
But trust me,
I'll be fine.
I know I can try,
I know I'll still cry,
But one day I promise,
You'll see I'll be fine.
I'll take back my heart,
I'll let myself heal,
I don't need you,
Like I thought I did.
I don't know why,
It takes this much strength,
To let you know,
That I'm letting go.
I know I'm sane,
I hear the rain,
That is my tears,
I cry over letting go.
Why is letting go,
As hard as this,
Shouldn't it be easy,
Letting go of what never was?
Maybe I'm cliche,
Thinking you were my breath,
Flying when you're around,
Living in your precesance.
Maybe I'm stupid,
Giving up on love,
But if this isn't love,
It doesn't exist to me. | | I'm sorry,
I could never quiet,
measure up to what,
you need.
I'm sorry,
for every last time,
I have ever hurt you,
too much.
I'm sorry,
I could never be,
The perfect sister,
you deserve.
I'm sorry,
that I always ran to you,
with all my problems and,
my fears.
I'm sorry ,
That I ever gave you,
The tears I tried not to cry,
at all.
I'm sorry,
that I loved you more,
then I ever could love,
my life.
I'm sorry,
That I gave you my,
unstable set of mind you never,
deserved that.
I'm sorry,
That I brought all my pain,
and usually passed it onto you for,
no reason.
I'm sorry,
I gave you all this pain,
You were always so good to me,
thank you.
I'm sorry,
That I'm problematic,
and that I'm Cherophobic,
I have a fear of happiness.
I'm sorry,
That my pain always
became yours because I'm Euphobic,
I have a fear of good news. | | kill me kill me
kill me please
it's better then this pain.
Tearing tearing
shearing pain.
Break me,
take me,
rip me,
kill me, it's better,
then this pain.
love me,
hurt me,
kill me,
tear me,
I'd rather die right now
torn torn tearing,
me apart.
Breaking, shaking,
ripping tearing,
there goes my heart,
as the song that once,
made me happy,
now makes me die
a little more inside.
Hurt me,
kill me,
break me,
take me
I cant deal with,
this shearing pain.
I shake too much,
I cry too often,
I love him too much,
yet I can't tell him,
The pain of this,
tears me more. | | I hear his screams,
His dying words,
As he slowly swings,
The rope's deadly sin.
I heard his threats,
I thought them false,
Until one day,
They stopped his pulse.
The suicide that took his life,
Made mine hell,
There is no verse,
Couldn't be any worse.
Suicide is such a crime,
Suicide will you be mine?
Suicide is real you hear,
It happens to me,
Twice a year.
I lose to friends,
And they can't see,
What their death,
Does to me,
I lose the will,
I lost this verse,
Suicide won't you please,
Be mine this year? | | She's stares at the ground,
The silver coldness all around,
Coat and Surround,
Listen to the pound,
pound of tears on the ground,
Flowing all around,
Ice soon surround.
Watch the blood,
The crimson flood,
Flow through the mud,
The red red flood,
An opening bud,
Fed my blood,
Fall in the crud,
Breath in mud,
Lie there seething,
Die there bleeding. | | Invisible,
Dying slowly,
Hurting wholly,
Slowly I'm torn,
And ripped apart.
One day you'll look back,
And see everything you did,
Not on my wrist,
And not in my eyes,
No I'm stronger then that,
My eyes will be closed,
And my heart sealed shut,
When the breath of life,
Left me the last.
Not once more,
Shall I shed a tear,
Not once more,
Shall I think of you,
Not once more,
Will you hurt my soul.
You broke my heart,
Without a care,
You snapped my bones,
Without a thought,
You cussed and punched,
Now look what you did,
As the blood flows free,
The scars show clear,
You won't shed a tear,
Yet bury me,
Forget me,
After all,
You abused me. | | I hate to say good-bye
To someone such as you
A lonely time I shall have
When I'm forced to say good-bye
I loved you more than words can say
Until you were torn away
I hate to say good-bye
But would hate it even more
If I never had the chance
To say good-bye to you
It 'Causes so much pain
This pain that I can't bare
Just to say good-bye
My eyes swelled up with tears
I hate to leave you
This is an awful song
I refused to say good-bye
So you were torn from my life
The good-byes never said
Hung silently in the air
I lost you forever
Since I refused to say
Those two little words
Joined side by side
"Good-bye" was all I had to say
I refused and now I'll never see
You sit at my wedding
As I'm walked down the aisle
I'll never see you
At your son's graduation
I'll never see you
At any of my drama club plays
Or at all during my choir days
This sad song
Is coming to an end
All because I never once said
Those two little words
That are joined side by side
I refused so you were torn
Far from all our lives
I now regret that choice I made
To never say "Good-bye" | | |
